Gameosity’s Top 10 Sexiest Meeples

Meeples. Lots of board games have them, and most of them wouldn’t be the same without them. They’re an integral part of board gaming in general, but simply appreciating their existence isn’t enough. That’s why we’ve put together a list that not only celebrates what it means to be a meeple, but also celebrates how visually stunning they are.

That’s right, we’re talking about sexy meeples. Our top ten sexiest meeples, to be exact.

Before we get into it, let’s go over the basic rules for the list. We’re going with the more classic definition of “Meeple” here, which means wooden pieces only. Sorry, mini-lovers. We’re also limiting the list to one entry per game, though different games by the same designer or publisher are fine. Other than that, it’s a free-for-all of lusty curves, hard edges, and intricate crannies.

10: Crabs – Fleet (Ben Pinchback, Matt Riddle, Eagle-Gryphon Games)
It’s hard not to be attracted to the special mini-expansion crabs for Fleet. It’s not just because they look great, either. I mean they do – what with the spot-on reds and the finely detailed silhouettes – but there’s more to it than that. They don’t simply look sexy; getting a hold of one feels particularly satisfying, because you earned that crab, as well as the extra victory points it represents. Go you!

9: Red Cargo – Galaxy Trucker (Vlaada Chvátil, Czech Games Edition)
Similar to the previously mentioned crabs, the red cargo in Galaxy Trucker induces an almost Pavlovian feeling of joy whenever you can add a cube to your hold. There are few things (technically maybe 8 other things) sexier than being able to place one of these babies in a specialized cargo container – which has presumably been tucked away in the bowels of your ship in order to keep that incredibly precious cargo safe.

8: Pumpkins – Caverna: The Cave Farmers (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games)
In Caverna, more dwarves means more actions, but it also means more mouths to feed. The constant balancing act of keeping everyone from starving can be a bit draining, which is why just about anything representing food has a special place in my heart. Pumpkins most of all, because these luscious orange lovelies are more filling than wheat and generally easier to produce than livestock. And they’re just so pleasantly curvaceous…

7: Sea Monsters – Survive: Escape from Atlantis! (Julian Courtland-Smith, Stronghold Games)
Terrifying though they may be, especially when baring down on your swimmers, Survive’s sea monsters are dead sexy – almost to a fault. Granted they do lack the sort of charming personality you might prefer in a long-term relationship, but sometimes you just want to have fun before settling down, you know? And I think they’re just the arm candy needed to scratch that itch.

6: Space Ships – Tiny Epic Galaxies (Scott Almes, Gamelyn Games)
Oh the tight, sexy curves of a retro-inspired rocket ship! There’s just something about it’s purity of form that makes it timeless. The gently sloping fuselage, the pointed nose, the gorgeous fins – it’s pretty much the definition of sleek. And every time you manage to earn another one in Tiny Epic Galaxies it’s difficult not to salivate a little. Both from the sheer perfection of form and because now you can do even more stuff.

5: Fast Runners – Baseball Highlights: 2045 (Mike Fitzgerald, Eagle-Gryphon Games)
Nothing instills fear (and slight panic) in a rival in Baseball Highlights: 2045 quite like seeing a fast runner on the plate. These little suckers will score extremely quickly if there aren’t any slower runners in front of them, which can be practically terrifying if the scores are close. Of course, while they’re fear-inducing when they’re being used against you, they’re proportionally glorious (and nipple-stiffening) when they’re working for you.

4: Farmers – At the Gates of Loyang (Uwe Rosenberg, Z-Man Games)
The farmers in At the Gates of Loyang may not have rocket engineering know-how (because they predate the very idea of space travel by several hundred years), but they definitely have the “ripped from working in the fields” vibe going for them. I also have to give them the edge over the astronauts because, purely from a physical standpoint, they do look just a bit more attractive. Sorry if that sounds shallow but that’s just how it is.

3: Friday – Robinson Crusoe: Adventures on the Cursed Island (Ignacy Trzewiczek, Portal Games)
Robinson Crusoe might have his name in the title, but he’d be nothing without the help of his survival savvy friend Friday. This is especially true in Robinson Crusoe: Adventures of the Cursed Island. In a game where cooperation is essential for survival you need all the help you can get, which is why it’s such a relief every time you get to put Friday’s smooth, taught disk on a task to help you get more stuff done faster. He’s resourceful, pleasant to look at, and can literally save your life.

2: The Alpha – Neanderthal (Phil Eklund, Sierra Madre Games)
The Alpha stands well above the other hunters you’ll use in Neanderthal, both literally and figuratively. This specialized hunter is one of a kind; an almost perfect example of the pinnacle of human athleticism and survival instincts. But despite the badassery, The Alpha can still be vulnerable. And vulnerable tough guys are super-hot.

1: Rogues – Lords of Waterdeep (Peter Lee, Rodney Thompson, Wizards of the Coast)
Black is an attractive color, and these tight little cubes almost look good enough to eat. But the real reason this Lords of Waterdeep class outshines everyone else on the list is because Rogues are just the sexiest thing there is. They’re rebellious and shrouded by mystery, but they also stand up for what they believe is right and often look out for the less fortunate – the ultimate bad boy/bad girl with a heart of gold.

Do you agree with our choices? Think we missed anyone? Chime in below and let us know what you think!

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